Humor

Taco Tuesday.

People blowing up people. School shootings. Gun control. Religion. National security. Abortion. Presidental candidates and their hair. Gay marriage. Taxes. Are we really surprised Charlie Sheen has HIV?

Let’s all relax. Park your car, sit back and enjoy the flavor explosion of a Taco Bell taco.

Hola.

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No, I’m not drunk.

It’s my blog and I can write what I want.

And I can’t think of anything more satisfying than ripping open a Taco Bell fire sauce packet.

Stop.

Have you actually had a bowel problem after Taco Bell? Have you actually ate Taco Bell then run to the bathroom? I’m guessing no – it’s just something you say because everyone else says it to be funny.

The jokes stop here.

There’s no reason to make jokes about a fine establishment like Taco Bell.

If you want to see someone running to the bathroom after a meal, try my Mexican grandmother’s habanero salsa. You better pucker those cheeks. No, the other cheeks. The cheeks that never see sunshine. My grandma doesn’t even have any taste buds anymore. She just keeps adding habaneros.

Back to Taco Bell and America.

I enjoy eating tacos in Taco Bell’s parking lot with my fellow, hard-working Americans – the constructions workers.

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Ok, maybe they’re not American. It doesn’t matter. It’s good food no matter where you hail from, hombres.

You know, I would be perfectly happy with a Taco Bell meal for Thanksgiving. I don’t care how much sodium, fat, carbs, sugar, gluten, or paleo is in it. Is paleo a real thing?

I am just enjoying the moment with my taco.

Stop fighting.

But for the record – if they forget the sauce, it’s out the window.

Are you sick of the news? What is your comfort food? Do you have a favorite guilty pleasure? Make me laugh. We need more of that in the world.