Dear Football Gods.

Dear Football Gods,

It’s November 27th. It’s my 35th birthday.

35 candles to wish on. 35 flames extinguished on one wish.

Did you feel it?

I won’t come to you asking for my health or food on my plate. I won’t ask you to forgive my horrible, unspeakable sins. I won’t come to you asking for world peace.

That’s not the kind of deals you make. I know that. What I’m asking you doesn’t involve peace of any kind.

In fact, maybe I’m sending a prayer up to the Football Devils.

Whoever you are, you are up there performing miracles on Hail Marys or shifting the winds ever so much for a kicker to miss a field goal. Whoever you are, I blew out candles tonight for you.

I want a Kansas City Chiefs win over the Denver Broncos on this night, November 27th, 2016. On my 35th birthday.

Would I put my health, empty plates, unforgiving sins and world peace on this game? Why, yes I would. Are people calling me childish for not inviting friends over because they are Broncos fans? Yes, Scott did call me childish. Did I wake up this morning and think, “today’s the day! Chiefs vs. Broncos! The day the Chiefs will win because it’s my birthday.” Why, yes sir, I did. 

You see, I’m a good fan. I’m what a fan should be. I will not deviate from The Kansas City Chiefs, the Kansas City Royals, Sporting KC, or the Kansas State Wildcats. The lows and the highs, I’m there. I pray to you. I cuss at you. I cry. I scream. I trash talk on Twitter. I text my football soulmate, Carmen, because she understands that my behavior is not childish behavior, it’s just superstitious behavior. I laugh. I smile. I high-five. I threaten to pull out the 4th of July fireworks. I pray.

I pray to you again. Please. I didn’t even do anything that fun today because I have a cold. I have a cold on this grey, rainy day in Kansas City. Only you can pick me up.

All I want is a Kansas City Chiefs win over the Denver Broncos on this night, November 27th, 2016. On my 35th birthday.

Thank you.

And thank you for nicknaming the Denver Broncos, “donkeys.” That’s hilarious.

Julie, the 35-year-old Chiefs fan.


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