Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.

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Emma: Awesome. So our neighbors and family will be getting THIS in their mailboxes?

Me: We are not a normal family, Emma. Always remember this.

Emma: Did you show dad?

Me: No. He won’t care.

Emma: Did you show Kate?

Me: You know what? I don’t care what Kate thinks at this point because Kate won’t smile for a family picture. I will not let her ruin the family Christmas picture. We’ll ruin it together.

Emma: This is so embarrassing.

Me: This is the best Christmas card yet, Emma.

Merry Christmas!

With love, The Burtons

Scott, Julie, Emma, and Kate

Stella, Belle, and Penny (not pictured)

If you would like a real card – please email me your address at 


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And don’t forget to buy my book, “But Did You Die?”