• A to Z Challenge,  Oh Emma Oh Kate

    The letter O.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate. Is there any other O than Oh? In high school, I worked at a day care. A red-headed mom picked up her 4-year-old red-headed son. Her son said something to her that made her laugh. She looked me in the eye and said, “when you have your own kids, write down the funny things they say. You’ll forget as soon as they say them so write them down. I keep a notebook in my purse. It’s hilarious.” My 17-year-old self never forgot that motherly advice. That little boy is 22 years old now. I always wonder if his mom kept her notebook all these years. I don’t remember…

  • A to Z Challenge,  Humor,  Oh Emma Oh Kate

    The letter N.

    Good evening and happy Easter to you. I know you’re taking the time out of your day to read this. For that, I would like to say thank you. It’s a school and work night so I’m going to make this short and sweet because I’m a nice person. The letter N. Nice. Do you know who else is nice on this Easter Sunday? My daughter, Kate. Emma is ten and Kate is seven. Those two ages bring a lot of new responsibility. They’re becoming independent from Scott and me. They can make their own school lunch. They take their own showers. If I need to run a quick errand, Emma and…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 10 and Kate is 7.  __________ Me: Let me pull your tooth out. Kate: Let me pop that zit on your back. __________ Me: Why won’t you play softball this summer? You’d be so good! Kate: Because I’ll probably have a weird named team. __________ I picked up the girls from school on the day Emma went to school with no braces. Me: Hey Emma! Did you show your class your smile? Emma: Yeah, everyone noticed and were like, “whoa.” Kate: Any boys kiss you? Me: KATE. Kate: What? She looks prettier. Me: Knock it…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 10 and Kate is 7.  __________ Me: Good night, Kate. Kate: Night, Becky. Me: BECKY?! Kate: Look at her butt, Becky. __________ Kate: What are you doing? Me: Taking down your Christmas lights in your bedroom window. It’s not Christmas anymore. Kate: What makes a string of pretty lights, Christmas lights? __________ The girls started crossing their eyes at each other. Me: Gross! Stop. Scott: Did you know if you cross your eyes for a long time, they’ll stay that way? Emma: That’s not true. That’s just something parents say to their kids. Kate: Yeah,…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 10 and Kate is 7.  __________ Scott and Kate got in an argument before bed. I checked on Kate before she fell asleep. Me: Good night, Kate! Kate: Tell daddy to come in here. Me: Really? I thought you were mad at him? Kate: I have words with him. __________ I picked up the girls from school. Emma slammed the door, mad. Me: What happened? Emma: KATE. She brought me my water this morning. Me: She did? I gave you your waters before school? Emma: You switched water bottles. She walked into my class and said, “Emma!…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 10 and Kate is 7.  __________ Scott: True or False? Kate: I love this game! Scott: One day, in college, mommy showed her boobs to people at a bar. Me: SCOTT. Kate: Hmm. False. Scott: Correct. Because if mommy were to do that, she would go to jail. Kate: No, she wouldn’t. __________ Emma: So Donald Trump will be the new President? Me: Yeah. Emma: So he has to move into the White House? Me: Yep. Emma: He probably won’t like that too much? Me: Really? Why do you think? Emma: That must be much…

  • Hunting,  NaBloPoMo,  Oh Emma Oh Kate

    The history of Dick.

    Google search: Why is Dick’s Sporting Goods named Dick’s? Dick’s Sporting Goods was founded in 1948. The sporting goods store is named after its founder Richard “Dick” Stack. Google search: Why is Richard named Dick? In the 12th and 13th centuries everything was written by hand and Richard nicknames like Rich and Rick were common just to save time. Rhyming nicknames were also common and eventually Rick gave way to Dick. Dick, of course, is the only rhyming nickname that stuck over time. Richard’s Sporting Goods would be a fine name for such an establishment in 2016. But no, we are left with the name that stood stiff as board through nine centuries. Dick. Me:…

  • NaBloPoMo,  Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 10 and Kate is 7.  __________ Kate: The remote is out of batteries. Me: I’m pretty sure your dad used all the batteries for the trail cameras. Just go use your fingers. Kate: How do I do that? Me: Walk up to the TV and turn it on with the side button. Kate: It can do that? __________ Scott: Oh, Kate. One day you won’t love me anymore. Kate: Yeah. I’ll probably like you though. __________ Me: Kate, go feed the dogs! Kate: You’ll have to pay me. Me: No, this is your chore. Feed…

  • Humor,  Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 10 and Kate is 7.  __________ The girls had some friends over. They were collecting rolly pollies in a bowl in our backyard. Kate: This one is totally a boy. Look at that little thing dragging. ___________ Me: Girls! Good song! Jack and Diane. Do you know who sings this song? Emma: No. Me: John Mellencamp. But his name used to be John Cougar. Emma: What? People can change their name? Me: Yes, but I’m not sure if it was a real name change or if it’s a stage name because he’s a singer. But…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 10 and Kate is 7.  __________ Me: Girls! I got an email from your new teachers with the class list! Emma: Let me see that! YES! I got the teacher that lets us chew gum! Kate: Ugh. The boy who has a crush on me is in my class again. __________ Emma: Look at that sunbeam! Pretty! Kate: Can you imagine if that were over our house? I’d be like “woo-hoo! Disco par-taaaay” __________ Kate: Will you help me pull on my swimsuit? Me: Sure. Kate: I can’t be showing my little boobies with my little…