• NaBloPoMo,  Video

    Hung like a horse.

    If I don’t know an answer to a question, I do what most people do – I ask Google. Google search: What does hung like a horse mean? Google: Having a large penis. Google search: Where did the term hung like a horse come from? Google: From the Bible, Ezekiel 23:20: “There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.” Google search: Ezekiel 23:20 meaning Google: Oholah and Oholibah, personifications of two cities: Samaria in Israel and Jerusalem in Judah, respectively. Sisters. Prostitutes. Adulterers. Asses and horses are introduced in Ezekial to show the intensity of lust. Emission was…

  • Video

    The cold never bothered me anyway.

    Emma: Mommy, why are we dumping a bucket of water on your head after school? Me: Well, people want to help fight a disease called ALS. Emma: What is ALS? Me: Here, let’s look it up. Ok. It’s a disease. It starts in the brain and it attacks the muscles. If someone gets ALS they won’t be able to move or swallow. They eventually cannot breathe. And there is no cure. People are video taping themselves getting a bucket of ice water dumped on their head to raise awareness. And they are donating money to help figure out how to stop the disease. Emma: But why a bucket of ice…

  • Hunting,  Travel,  Video

    I don’t even know what just happened.

    The last thing I remember was buying an airplane ticket, throwing some fishing shirts in a carry-on and jumping on a plane to South Florida. Emma, Kate and I drove to Tulsa, Oklahoma to meet Savannah, my newborn niece. This would be zee baby that got grounded. I had to get Savannah’s autograph for my shirt. I’m her biggest fan. Scott was in South Florida for work. I got a text. Scott: Hop on a plane and get down here. The fish are biting this weekend. The wind and current will be perfect. It’s my vday present to you. Me: R u serious? We don’t give vday presents. Scott: Do u…

  • Hunting,  Video

    Smoke City.

    2013. The year Emma shot her first buck. I feel sorry for the baby buck. I really do. I named him Tiny Tim. Emma and her crossbow didn’t give Tiny Tim a fighting chance. His mother is probably wiping a single tear drop with her hoof somewhere in the woods. Tiny Tim’s death did serve a purpose – he bonded a father and daughter in 2013. Emma is the only 7 year old I know that has killed a deer and for that, I admire my little badass. I can only hope Emma stopped the fate of Tiny Tim running out in front of a car. I give you: Smoke…

  • Parenting,  Video

    Kansas City Live.

    “Oh, hope you don’t mind my camera phone. It’s my first time on TV.” I’m really good at being touristy. I did it! I was on the first ever moms panel on Kansas City Live. The other 3 panelists are professionals at being funny moms so it was easy to have a conversation with them. Michelle, the host, made us feel relaxed and comfortable. She told me in the green room that her favorite post of mine is Snake. I knew I’d like this woman. My voice still sounds weird but there’s nothing anyone can do about that. Thank you, Kansas City Live! I am honored to be on such…

  • KState,  Video

    Child Geniuses.

    My sister, Jessica, sent me a video of her 11 month old doing sign language at the dinner table. Baby sign language is adorable. That little Gabby is so smart. I’m tearing up imagining her graduate magna cum laude from K-State one day, just like her mommy. Scott and I did NOT graduate magna cum laude. Our kids will graduate from K-State following in our own footsteps – with a major in Aggieville. Geniuses, I tell you. Geniuses. I sent Jessica back a couple videos of her nieces:  

  • Travel,  Video

    Repost: Vash and Justin.

    I am in New Orleans for the next few days. I am here for work so I will be on my best behavior. This 70 degree and flip flops trip couldn’t have been timed more perfectly considering Kansas City is completely snowed in. I’m hearing rumors our dogs can’t maneuver through the pile of snow at the door. Sounds like it’s a movie day for you up north. I have the perfect snowed-in activity: Watch my friend, Justin on Youtube! Vash and Justin, a blog repost:   I met Justin in high school. He was (and is) well liked by everyone – meaning he had 1,345,373 friends. He was popular;…

  • Video

    Whitey Tighties.

    I’m on a job search. This automatically throws my closet upside down. Goodwill – I’m coming your way with my old sweatshirts, stained t-shirts and maybe even a pair of mom jeans. I don’t own any suits. All my casual dresses are way above-the-knee. My “nicer” shirts are kinda Vegas-with-friends-iffy. Honestly, most of my clothes are out of style. I have clothes from college that I still try to pull off as hip. My favorite color to wear is anything neutral, mostly grays. Fashion has never been a strength of mine. That being said, I would absolutely rock the pants off the workout apparel world. Once upon a time, before…

  • Hunting,  Video

    A hunting video.

    So I’m jacking around on my computer with Kate. She wanted to watch some videos when she was a baby. Fine, I’ll close out ancestry.com for 5 minutes. Oh! What is this! Daddy is making hunting videos! He’s talking to the camera, Kate! Let’s watch. Who knows who he’s talking to. According to this video footage, he’s talking to “guys”. And then we see hours of footage of absolutely nothing. Not one kill. He must suck at hunting. I’m actually glad he’s shooting animals with a camera and not a gun. Scott, here’s my 1 minute version of a hunting video – using your footage. Enjoy.