• NaBloPoMo

    Thanksgiving steals my birthday thunder.

    Jimi Hendrix. Caroline Kennedy. Bruce Lee. …. Fine. And Jaleel White – also known as Steve Urkel. You know what they all have in common? November 27th. They all share a birthday with me. I know we can’t control our birthdays but is it really necessary to have sex on Valentine’s Day? Is it really necessary? I say no. There’s no need for that. It’s a Hallmark holiday. Wooing consists of a mass produced “I love you” card and a dozen overpriced flowers. Do not cave for this, ladies. Not in February. Have your way with men in, oh I don’t know – July. Show ’em some real fireworks. But if you are a romantic…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate,  Parenting,  Womanhood

    The birth of Kate.

    Good evening. It’s May 7, 2017. Kate is eight years old today. It’s story time here on the blog. I can’t think of a better story than the birth of Kate. I’ve never written Kate’s birth story. I’m a little surprised at this because birth stories are one of those staple stories we, as parents, tell one another. Placentas, foot-long needles to the spine, a smear of poo on your baby as it slides out – I mean, there’s no filter when it comes to birth stories. No, I didn’t poo on Kate. Before I begin the story, I will tell you I am feeling more pain now than I did…

  • NaBloPoMo

    Dear Football Gods.

    Dear Football Gods, It’s November 27th. It’s my 35th birthday. 35 candles to wish on. 35 flames extinguished on one wish. Did you feel it? I won’t come to you asking for my health or food on my plate. I won’t ask you to forgive my horrible, unspeakable sins. I won’t come to you asking for world peace. That’s not the kind of deals you make. I know that. What I’m asking you doesn’t involve peace of any kind. In fact, maybe I’m sending a prayer up to the Football Devils. Whoever you are, you are up there performing miracles on Hail Marys or shifting the winds ever so much for a kicker to miss a…

  • NaBloPoMo

    34 things I learned in 34 years.

    Today is my last day as a 34-year-old. In a lifetime, 35 isn’t old. It’s probably better defined as the era of your prime. To my younger siblings, I’m old. To Scott, I’m young – even if it’s only by four months. To my kids, I’m old. My ob/gyn is checking off the advanced maternal age box – not that that will ever be checked.  35-years-old. There’s no hiding that I am an adult. I’m not old and wise but I’m not young and dumb either. I learned a few things. As I toast off 34 years, I can reflect how much I’ve grown since that bitter cold November morning in 1981. 34 things…

  • Parenting

    It never rains on her birthday.

    “Mom! UGH! It’s says strong thunderstorms on my birthday!” Emma turned 10 years old on Tuesday. May 24th at 12:05 in the afternoon. It never rains on her birthday. Ten is just another birthday to her. In one of those ten years – I can’t figure out which one – presents switched from princess clothes and tiaras to books and nail polish. She recieved more clothes than she would probably care for. But maybe that is how we raised her. I was never a mom to dress her up in dresses and bows. And what is 10 years to her anyway? She won’t appreciate her birthday until the privileges come with them.…

  • Parenting,  Womanhood

    Halfway there.

    They say after you have a baby, you blink, and then that baby is headed off to college. I call bullshit. A kid doesn’t just wake up one day and become an 18 year old. It’s a process. Time slows down after the age of 9. And do you know why years 9 through 18 are slowed down? I’ll tell you why – it’s so Scott and I can be slowly reminded we’re going to be grandparents one day. THAT’S WHY. The hormones that will make my grandchildren have showed up with their pretty, little eye-rolls. Emma turned 9 this weekend. I usually write a sweet post about Emma’s birthday. Emma’s birth made me a mom. She…

  • Womanhood

    Men get epidurals too.

    May 7, 2009. I gave birth to a blonde-haired baby girl named Kate. May 7, 2015. Scott claimed he went to a place where only women have gone. It’s a place where the human body tortures and rips itself open in the highest severity of pain. It’s the 10 out of 10. You guys, Scott experienced the pains of childbirth.  _______ Me: I NEED HELP! I NEED A STRETCHER FOR MY HUSBAND IN THE CAR. Doctor: Ma’am. Is your husband injured? Me: Yes. Yes, hurry. He can’t move. Nurse: (pushing an empty wheelchair out the Emergency Department’s doors) Ma’am, how did you get him in the car if he can’t move? Me: I had help.…

  • Parenting

    May 24th.

    When I was a child, I wondered what days of the year would be meaningful to me – well, to the adult me. The adult me seemed far away. I didn’t know her. What decisions would she make that would change her life? What days would she mark on the calendar every year? She’ll mark my parents’ birthdays and anniversary. And she’ll mark my siblings’ birthdays, for sure. Maybe this day, right now, would be an important moment in her life. What day would she get married? July 17. What day would her husband’s birthday be? July 11. What day would she become an aunt? April 20th. What day would she become a mom? May 24th.      May 24th showed up…

  • Video

    Don't forget my kid's birthday.

    My brother-in-law and sister-in-law had an “oops” moment. They forgot to call Kate on her birthday. Feeling bad, they called last night. I ran the phone down to Kate and told the girls “Uncle Mark and Aunt Ashley are on the phone to say happy birthday to Kate.” Emma knew immediately that they didn’t call on her real birthday. We jokingly gave them a hard time, said goodbye then ran upstairs for a snack. Emma said “let’s make a video for Uncle Mark”. This is not out of the ordinary for Emma to say. We like to make movies for the family to watch. This email was sent last night.…

  • Humor

    My hidden talent.

    This is completely random but I would like you to know I have a hidden talent. I can easily remember birthdays, sometime anniversaries. I don’t know why. Not just my own immediate family. I know all my aunts, uncles, cousins, my friends, my friends kids. Even Scott’s side of the family. If I’m not right, I’m definitely within the month, usually within the week. I don’t even try to memorize them. I recognize patterns within birthdays too. I know myself, my cousin Lisa, my cousin Ryan all got married on the 17th. July, August, September, respectively. If you tell me your birthday once, I’ll always remember. I will usually text…