• A to Z Challenge,  Hunting

    The letter W.

    Hi, I’m Julie. I’m married to Scott. We have two daughters, Emma and Kate. We are the Burtons. Unless it’s September through December. Hi, I’m Julie. I’m married to Christine. We have three daughters – Emma, Kate, and Elle and two sons – Wyatt and Lane. We are the Burton-Bentons. The letter W. Wife. I met Christine years ago at a Eric Church/Kenny Chesney concert. We ran into each other in the parking lot of Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City. We realized we were neighbors, of all things. She told me my house was on the way to school and she could tell I had a husband who hunts. She said her…

  • Hunting,  Womanhood

    Emma’s upgrade.

    Me: EMMA! Stop! Give me the razor. Never shave side-to-side! You’ll cut yourself. Here, watch again. Start at ankle and go up. Don’t press too hard. Emma: Oh. Ok. Ok. Got it. Emma shaves her legs now. She asked me a few weeks ago if I could teach her how to shave her legs. She said her leg hair bothers her when she wears pants. I gave the go-ahead. Scott got voted off womanhood island. “No, absolutely not. She’s too young,” can paddle itself back to the roars in the man jungle. I told Emma she must keep it a secret from her 6-year-old going on 17-year-old younger sister. I assumed she wouldn’t say…

  • Hunting,  Video

    Smoke City.

    2013. The year Emma shot her first buck. I feel sorry for the baby buck. I really do. I named him Tiny Tim. Emma and her crossbow didn’t give Tiny Tim a fighting chance. His mother is probably wiping a single tear drop with her hoof somewhere in the woods. Tiny Tim’s death did serve a purpose – he bonded a father and daughter in 2013. Emma is the only 7 year old I know that has killed a deer and for that, I admire my little badass. I can only hope Emma stopped the fate of Tiny Tim running out in front of a car. I give you: Smoke…

  • Hunting

    Emma killed a buck.

    Bug, will you care if I take Emma out of school to hunt? Like at 2 o’clock on Wednesday? Seriously, Scott? I’m not calling her out. I’m not emailing her teacher. This will be all you. You lie. Or tell the truth. I don’t care. But I have nothing to do with this. Stop. I’ll tell you what’ll happen. Oh really. Tell me. I’ll pull Emma out of school and we’ll get to our spot early. She’ll shoot a buck at dusk. I’ll text you that Emma shot a buck. You will text me that Emma will fail spelling this year. Your phone will ring. You’ll look at your phone and…

  • Hunting,  Parenting

    Pink camo.

    So do you think you’re having a boy or girl? Ah, yes. The ever so popular round-about way of asking, “do you want a daughter or a son?” Let me tell you – a mother cannot feel what sex they are having. I’ve never been pregnant with a boy but I’m pretty sure a mom cannot feel a baby penis poking her. This question implies what sex does the mother want. The correct answer to this question is, “it doesn’t matter. A healthy baby.” I’m sure there are some moms out there that could care less about the sex of their child. Not me. My raging, hormonal mess of a mouth…