• NaBloPoMo

    The 12 Days of Thanksgiving.

    On the first day of Thanksgiving my true love gave to me a very dry Russian wedding. On the second day of Thanksgiving my true love gave to me two rehearsal dinner invites, and a very dry Russian wedding. On the third day of Thanksgiving my true love gave to me three peeping boys, two rehearsal dinner invites, and a very dry Russian wedding. On the fourth day of Thanksgiving my true love gave to me four fireball shots, three peeping boys, two rehearsal dinner invites, and a very dry Russian wedding. On the fifth day of Thanksgiving my true love gave to me FIVE GOLDEN FLASKS! Four fireball shots,…

  • NaBloPoMo

    Thanksgiving steals my birthday thunder.

    Jimi Hendrix. Caroline Kennedy. Bruce Lee. …. Fine. And Jaleel White – also known as Steve Urkel. You know what they all have in common? November 27th. They all share a birthday with me. I know we can’t control our birthdays but is it really necessary to have sex on Valentine’s Day? Is it really necessary? I say no. There’s no need for that. It’s a Hallmark holiday. Wooing consists of a mass produced “I love you” card and a dozen overpriced flowers. Do not cave for this, ladies. Not in February. Have your way with men in, oh I don’t know – July. Show ’em some real fireworks. But if you are a romantic…

  • Humor

    A Twitter Christmas.

    I’m back! Did you miss me? Much to the knowledge of all my Twitter followers, we went to my in-laws over Christmas. I was going crazy. Crazy because I couldn’t shake the feeling I was always hungry around my mother-in-law’s cooking. Crazy because I was bored in a town I don’t know very well. Crazy that an unlimited amount of whiskey was provided at all hours of the day by my father-in-law. And I love whiskey. I was mostly going crazy because I couldn’t sit down and write at my computer. Writing clears my head. I need to write. So I did what comes naturally to my trigger-happy thumbs –…