• Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 11 and Kate is 8.  _____________ Kate: Can I take a mistletoe to school? _____________ I brought the girls over my parents house. Emma: What are you eating? My mom: We got some food from Freddy’s. Kate: Oh. We ate nothing. _____________ Kate: Why don’t you wear heels? Me: Because they make me taller than daddy and he doesn’t like that. Kate: Tell him ‘too bad’ and be taller. _____________ Kate: (petting our dog, Belle) Oh Belle Belle! You look dead laying here. Yes, you do! You look dead, Belle Belle! _____________ I picked up…

  • Humor,  Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 11 and Kate is 8.  ________________ I asked Kate for my phone while we were walking through a parking lot. She handed the phone to me and it dropped. We both looked at the phone at our feet. Kate: That’s your problem. ________________ Kate made a fake cast to wear. Emma signed the cast with “hope you feel worse.” For whatever reason, Kate left the cast on. I took the girls to downtown Kansas City. We sat in the KC Streetcar (like a bus). One of the employees walked down the aisle to make sure…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 11 and Kate is 8.  _____________ I walked in the living room. Emma and Kate were watching Princess Diaries 2. Me: Hey girls. Oh, I love this movie! Did you know Julie Andrews is Mary Poppins? (singing) Just a spoon full of sugar helps the…. Kate: Princess Mia is 21 and she can drink wine now. _____________ Me: Don’t put a lot of salt on your food, please. Emma: That’s your own opinion. _____________ We took the girls to an outdoor concert in Minnesota. Kate followed me to the port-a-potty. I used the handicapped stall…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 11 and Kate is 8.  _____________ Me: It’s 9:00! Go to bed! Kate: Mom, it’s 8:49. Emma: Yeah mom, stop rounding. _____________ Kate: Wait, a minute. Are you writing down what I’m saying? Me: Yes. Kate: Write to the people that I said you have a big butt. _____________ Kate: Happy New Day’s Eve! Me: What? Kate: Every day is New Day’s Eve. _____________ Kate: Can you imagine the first person to eat an egg? Me: Yeah, can you imagine someone saying, “I should eat that thing sliding out of a chicken’s butt. Kate: What?!…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 11 and Kate is 8.  __________ Kate: Do you have a bra on? Me: No. Kate: Good. __________ Emma had a friend over. Elle: HEY! I NEED TOILET PAPER! Emma: Just shake it off and let’s go! __________ I was driving the girls somewhere. Kate: Telling dad you turned on a red light. Me: You can turn right on a red light after a stop. Kate: Oh. Still telling him. __________ After school. Me: Hey, where did you get that band-aid on your toe? Kate: School. Me: What happened? Kate: Nurse said it’s infected and…

  • A to Z Challenge,  Oh Emma Oh Kate

    The letter O.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate. Is there any other O than Oh? In high school, I worked at a day care. A red-headed mom picked up her 4-year-old red-headed son. Her son said something to her that made her laugh. She looked me in the eye and said, “when you have your own kids, write down the funny things they say. You’ll forget as soon as they say them so write them down. I keep a notebook in my purse. It’s hilarious.” My 17-year-old self never forgot that motherly advice. That little boy is 22 years old now. I always wonder if his mom kept her notebook all these years. I don’t remember…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 10 and Kate is 7.  __________ Me: Let me pull your tooth out. Kate: Let me pop that zit on your back. __________ Me: Why won’t you play softball this summer? You’d be so good! Kate: Because I’ll probably have a weird named team. __________ I picked up the girls from school on the day Emma went to school with no braces. Me: Hey Emma! Did you show your class your smile? Emma: Yeah, everyone noticed and were like, “whoa.” Kate: Any boys kiss you? Me: KATE. Kate: What? She looks prettier. Me: Knock it…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 10 and Kate is 7.  __________ Me: Good night, Kate. Kate: Night, Becky. Me: BECKY?! Kate: Look at her butt, Becky. __________ Kate: What are you doing? Me: Taking down your Christmas lights in your bedroom window. It’s not Christmas anymore. Kate: What makes a string of pretty lights, Christmas lights? __________ The girls started crossing their eyes at each other. Me: Gross! Stop. Scott: Did you know if you cross your eyes for a long time, they’ll stay that way? Emma: That’s not true. That’s just something parents say to their kids. Kate: Yeah,…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 10 and Kate is 7.  __________ Scott and Kate got in an argument before bed. I checked on Kate before she fell asleep. Me: Good night, Kate! Kate: Tell daddy to come in here. Me: Really? I thought you were mad at him? Kate: I have words with him. __________ I picked up the girls from school. Emma slammed the door, mad. Me: What happened? Emma: KATE. She brought me my water this morning. Me: She did? I gave you your waters before school? Emma: You switched water bottles. She walked into my class and said, “Emma!…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 10 and Kate is 7.  __________ Scott: True or False? Kate: I love this game! Scott: One day, in college, mommy showed her boobs to people at a bar. Me: SCOTT. Kate: Hmm. False. Scott: Correct. Because if mommy were to do that, she would go to jail. Kate: No, she wouldn’t. __________ Emma: So Donald Trump will be the new President? Me: Yeah. Emma: So he has to move into the White House? Me: Yep. Emma: He probably won’t like that too much? Me: Really? Why do you think? Emma: That must be much…