• Humor,  marriage

    The next door neighbors.

    I don’t like writing stories that involve alcohol. Drunk stories, if you will. Stories about being under the influence. Sure, they’re funny and they show a part of our personalities that most people will never see. But the land of the Internet is not just you, Scott, and me. It’s employers, it’s potential clients, it’s our parents, possibly our future adult children. It’s our doctors making a mental note to check the “drinks alcohol” box on our charts. It’s people we’ve never met watching Scott and me roll by their house in a red golf cart at 10 a.m. on a Saturday morning. This wasn’t a normal Saturday morning joy…

  • Humor

    No solicitation.

    We have a problem in Suburbia. Yesterday, my door bell rang three times. I did what I always do – I hid, peeked out the window, and let my two dogs bark at the door. It was two different solicitors selling two different products. One came back within 30 minutes which is totally weird, dude. Adding a “No solicitation” sign has always been on my to-do list. It shot right up to the top of the list after I saw my neighbor’s version of “No solicitation.” Melissa is one hell of a woman. A woman after my own heart. Not only do I crave deep-dish pizza but I also love…

  • Humor

    How to find the Holy Grail of Neighbors.

    You may have read it. 10 Signs You Have Found the Holy Grail of Neighbors. I didn’t write it but I agree with the writer, Lauren Lodder, on every point. Good neighbors are your in-case-of-emergency people, therapists, babysitters, and they make vacations possible because they’re willing to kick the ass out of the wet bandits and take selfies to prove it. Well, at least my neighbors would be willing. When you find the Holy Grail of Neighbors, you’ll know. The roots you dig will find a way down into the earth and intertwine with your neighbor’s roots. The roots will strangle you and hold you captive so you will never move again. That’s when…

  • Humor

    Home Sweet Home.

    There are 7 billion people on earth. There are 319 million people living in the United States. And there are 2 million people living in the Kansas City metropolitan area. God, fate, karma, hell I don’t know – maybe even this blog itself has a mind of its own and made the world shrivel up to the size of a pea and next thing you know I’m living across the street from the brother of a guy I used to date. We bought a house this weekend. I say that sentence like it was a quick, drive-by decision. It was not. Oh, I drove by. I drove by the house and cul-de-sac…

  • Fitness

    The Color Run.

    I can’t move out of bed because of my legs. Oh wait. I should whisper this. I can’t move out of bed because of my legs. I had to whisper because I am forbidden to talk about my legs throbbing in pain with Scott in the room. He is still recovering from knee surgery. Knee surgery pain trumps all-over-can’t-move-both-legs pain. Hi Scott. You want to know what happened? I’ll tell you what happened. I ran. And now I’m fairly certain my neighbor is plotting my death. In Lawrence, Kansas. Home of the Jayhawks. This is a friendly reminder that I am a K-State Wildcats fan. Two weekends ago, Heather and…