• Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 11 and Kate is 8.  _____________ Kate: Can I take a mistletoe to school? _____________ I brought the girls over my parents house. Emma: What are you eating? My mom: We got some food from Freddy’s. Kate: Oh. We ate nothing. _____________ Kate: Why don’t you wear heels? Me: Because they make me taller than daddy and he doesn’t like that. Kate: Tell him ‘too bad’ and be taller. _____________ Kate: (petting our dog, Belle) Oh Belle Belle! You look dead laying here. Yes, you do! You look dead, Belle Belle! _____________ I picked up…

  • NaBloPoMo,  Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 11 and Kate is 8.  ______________ Me: Why are you so evil? Kate: Must be genetic, MOM. ______________ Me: You jealous I saw Bruno Mars in Atlanta? Kate: You jealous I saw Bruno Mars in Kansas City and he said, “Hey, Kansas Citaaaaayy!” ______________ Me: Were you guys hot or cold last night? Emma: Hot. Kate: Hot and cold. Me: How can you be hot and cold? Kate: I got hot but then I just put one leg outside the blankets. ______________ I chaperoned one of Kate’s field trips. It was at the Mahaffie Stagecoach…

  • NaBloPoMo

    The after-fire commentary by Emma and Kate.

    Day 11. Over a third of the way done. If you’re just now joining me, I am writing every day for the month of November. It’s called NaBloPoMo – National Blog Posting Month. I am a part of a writing group that calls it Nano Poplano because peppers sound better. All you need to know is that I’m posting every day. I don’t plan the posts. I sit down when I figure out what I’m going to write about and I write. Two days ago, I wrote about a 9-1-1 call I made. My toaster caught on fire. [If only the firefighters didn’t call me gluten free] It’s the most popular…

  • Humor,  Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 11 and Kate is 8.  ________________ I asked Kate for my phone while we were walking through a parking lot. She handed the phone to me and it dropped. We both looked at the phone at our feet. Kate: That’s your problem. ________________ Kate made a fake cast to wear. Emma signed the cast with “hope you feel worse.” For whatever reason, Kate left the cast on. I took the girls to downtown Kansas City. We sat in the KC Streetcar (like a bus). One of the employees walked down the aisle to make sure…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 11 and Kate is 8.  _____________ I walked in the living room. Emma and Kate were watching Princess Diaries 2. Me: Hey girls. Oh, I love this movie! Did you know Julie Andrews is Mary Poppins? (singing) Just a spoon full of sugar helps the…. Kate: Princess Mia is 21 and she can drink wine now. _____________ Me: Don’t put a lot of salt on your food, please. Emma: That’s your own opinion. _____________ We took the girls to an outdoor concert in Minnesota. Kate followed me to the port-a-potty. I used the handicapped stall…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 11 and Kate is 8.  _____________ Me: It’s 9:00! Go to bed! Kate: Mom, it’s 8:49. Emma: Yeah mom, stop rounding. _____________ Kate: Wait, a minute. Are you writing down what I’m saying? Me: Yes. Kate: Write to the people that I said you have a big butt. _____________ Kate: Happy New Day’s Eve! Me: What? Kate: Every day is New Day’s Eve. _____________ Kate: Can you imagine the first person to eat an egg? Me: Yeah, can you imagine someone saying, “I should eat that thing sliding out of a chicken’s butt. Kate: What?!…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate,  Parenting

    This picture cost me $20.

    I don’t post many pictures of my kids on social media. It isn’t because I don’t want others to know what my kids look like or I’m trying to protect their digital footprint. I am in a unique position when it comes to social media – I have public accounts. Anyone can look at my Facebook page, Instagram page or Twitter page. We don’t necessarily have to be “friends.” I made those public because it’s a platform to showcase my work. I’m a writer. And to be honest, an Instagram account with pictures of my kids would be boring to everyone but me. It’s the same concept as handing someone…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 11 and Kate is 8.  __________ Kate: Do you have a bra on? Me: No. Kate: Good. __________ Emma had a friend over. Elle: HEY! I NEED TOILET PAPER! Emma: Just shake it off and let’s go! __________ I was driving the girls somewhere. Kate: Telling dad you turned on a red light. Me: You can turn right on a red light after a stop. Kate: Oh. Still telling him. __________ After school. Me: Hey, where did you get that band-aid on your toe? Kate: School. Me: What happened? Kate: Nurse said it’s infected and…

  • A to Z Challenge,  Oh Emma Oh Kate

    The letter O.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate. Is there any other O than Oh? In high school, I worked at a day care. A red-headed mom picked up her 4-year-old red-headed son. Her son said something to her that made her laugh. She looked me in the eye and said, “when you have your own kids, write down the funny things they say. You’ll forget as soon as they say them so write them down. I keep a notebook in my purse. It’s hilarious.” My 17-year-old self never forgot that motherly advice. That little boy is 22 years old now. I always wonder if his mom kept her notebook all these years. I don’t remember…

  • A to Z Challenge,  Humor,  Oh Emma Oh Kate

    The letter N.

    Good evening and happy Easter to you. I know you’re taking the time out of your day to read this. For that, I would like to say thank you. It’s a school and work night so I’m going to make this short and sweet because I’m a nice person. The letter N. Nice. Do you know who else is nice on this Easter Sunday? My daughter, Kate. Emma is ten and Kate is seven. Those two ages bring a lot of new responsibility. They’re becoming independent from Scott and me. They can make their own school lunch. They take their own showers. If I need to run a quick errand, Emma and…