• National Geographic Kids

    For the adventurer.

    Hello. I don’t know how you got here but here you are. You stumbled upon my blog. My name is Julie. My family nickname is Bug, if you’re curious where the “Bug” came from in “Bug Bytes.” And “bytes,” well – it’s a decision I regret. I don’t know what a byte is but it has something to do with computers. Bug on the computer. I’m married to Scott. There’s a lot I could say about Scott but for now, all you need to know is he’s my husband. I have a daughter, Emma. She is 11 years old and in 6th grade. It’s called middle school now, not jr.…

  • NaBloPoMo,  Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 11 and Kate is 8.  ______________ Me: Why are you so evil? Kate: Must be genetic, MOM. ______________ Me: You jealous I saw Bruno Mars in Atlanta? Kate: You jealous I saw Bruno Mars in Kansas City and he said, “Hey, Kansas Citaaaaayy!” ______________ Me: Were you guys hot or cold last night? Emma: Hot. Kate: Hot and cold. Me: How can you be hot and cold? Kate: I got hot but then I just put one leg outside the blankets. ______________ I chaperoned one of Kate’s field trips. It was at the Mahaffie Stagecoach…

  • NaBloPoMo

    Life isn’t fair.

     Life isn’t fair.  That was my original post for today. My original post was about me reading books my whole life. Authors are my heroes. They pull me in with words, like magic. They keep me up at night and I never want to let them go. I wonder what kind of world lives in their heads. Other than a few local authors, I’ve never met my favorite authors. Scott reads one damn book since college and a few days later, by coincidence, he meets the author.  Scott rolled through the library’s book drop, returned the book, headed to the airport, arrived in Florida, sat through a few sales meetings,…

  • NaBloPoMo

    The after-fire commentary by Emma and Kate.

    Day 11. Over a third of the way done. If you’re just now joining me, I am writing every day for the month of November. It’s called NaBloPoMo – National Blog Posting Month. I am a part of a writing group that calls it Nano Poplano because peppers sound better. All you need to know is that I’m posting every day. I don’t plan the posts. I sit down when I figure out what I’m going to write about and I write. Two days ago, I wrote about a 9-1-1 call I made. My toaster caught on fire. [If only the firefighters didn’t call me gluten free] It’s the most popular…

  • NaBloPoMo,  Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Should have drank the whiskey.

    How did you sleep last night? How did I sleep last night? How did you sleep? I’ll tell you how I slept – shitty. I slept shitty. I wasn’t prepared to sleep shitty. In fact, I was going to have an amazing night’s rest. Scott went out with some friends last night and he left me in all my fabulousness in the middle of my king size bed. I pulled the comforter back and crawled in. I opened my phone to start scrolling, and poof.  The hiss of the pillow blew out the sides of my head. There was half an inch of pillow in between my head and mattress.…

  • NaBloPoMo

    Snitches get stitches.

      “I don’t want to hear it unless someone is dying.” “Stop tattling on your sister.” “But did you die?” No one likes a gossip. Parents don’t like tattletales. Even the Supreme Court doesn’t like hearsay. And no one likes snitches. Because snitches get stitches. The beauty of becoming an adult is you’re an adult. Anything you say or do is none of your parents’ concern anymore. Get arrested? Oh well. Didn’t pay your taxes? That’s your problem. Halloween candy for breakfast? Sure, go ahead. Scott and I are living with a snitch. Her name is Kate. She’s eight. When something doesn’t go her way – she tells our parents. __________ Kate: Mom,…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate.

    Oh Emma, Oh Kate is a series of funny things my kids say. Emma is 11 and Kate is 8.  _____________ I walked in the living room. Emma and Kate were watching Princess Diaries 2. Me: Hey girls. Oh, I love this movie! Did you know Julie Andrews is Mary Poppins? (singing) Just a spoon full of sugar helps the…. Kate: Princess Mia is 21 and she can drink wine now. _____________ Me: Don’t put a lot of salt on your food, please. Emma: That’s your own opinion. _____________ We took the girls to an outdoor concert in Minnesota. Kate followed me to the port-a-potty. I used the handicapped stall…

  • Oh Emma Oh Kate,  Parenting

    This picture cost me $20.

    I don’t post many pictures of my kids on social media. It isn’t because I don’t want others to know what my kids look like or I’m trying to protect their digital footprint. I am in a unique position when it comes to social media – I have public accounts. Anyone can look at my Facebook page, Instagram page or Twitter page. We don’t necessarily have to be “friends.” I made those public because it’s a platform to showcase my work. I’m a writer. And to be honest, an Instagram account with pictures of my kids would be boring to everyone but me. It’s the same concept as handing someone…

  • A to Z Challenge,  Humor,  Parenting

    The letter P.

    You guys, I fell asleep writing this last night. I kinda want to leave it how it is because it slowly doesn’t make any sense which is exactly how life goes. I won’t do that to you. I’m re-writing P. And now I have Q to write today too and this is the point where I regret starting this A to Z writing challenge. I struggled with P yesterday. P is inappropriate – penis, poop, period, puberty, pimples. P is boring. Pregnant. Oh, hell no. Pinterest. Meh. Purple. I don’t know. Pancakes! I suck at turning pancakes. There. That’s all I have on pancakes. I decided to go with the mother of all…

  • A to Z Challenge,  Humor

    The letter K.

    She came into the world with a middle finger up. The wild child. She never did take a bottle. Her toddler nickname was “the bulldog.” She wouldn’t let me feed her baby food; she had to feed herself. She refuses to “fake” smile for pictures. The kid doesn’t take shit from anyone. Scott and I can tell which daughter is walking into our room at night based off the heavy footsteps of confidence. I’m scared shitless for her teenage years. There’s only one. The letter K. Kate. Coming from a family of four kids, I knew what I was getting into with two kids. You need balance. Equality. Treat all kids the…